13 Things You Can Always Expect From a Narcissist

Human Psychology

11 Sep 2025 — 5 min read

A clear-eyed guide for those navigating toxic patterns

Note: This isn’t about one-off selfishness. It’s about the consistent patterns that define narcissistic behavior. If you recognize yourself here, know you’re not imagining it—and you’re not alone.

1. They will ruin a special occasion 🎂

Birthdays, weddings, graduations, these days are meant to shine a light on others. For a narcissist, that spotlight feels unbearable. They’ll find a way to dim it: starting a fight, disappearing, or sulking until the mood shifts back to them. Over time, you stop expecting joy on days that should be happiest, which is precisely the trap.

2. They will mistreat their own children 👶

Parenthood, at its healthiest, is about nurturing. But for narcissists, children often become tools: extensions of their image, or scapegoats for their frustration. The child learns early that love is conditional and approval is fleeting. The wounds can last a lifetime.

3. They will treat strangers better than their loved ones 🌐

The waiter, the boss, the new acquaintance, outsiders see charm, warmth, even generosity. Yet behind closed doors, the people closest to them feel the cold edge of indifference or cruelty. It’s a maddening contrast, one that makes you question your own reality.

4. They will kick you when you are down ⬇️

Moments of weakness—illness, grief, financial stress, become open invitations for attack. Instead of support, you receive contempt. The cruelty feels strategic: reminding you that you can’t rely on them when you need someone most.

5. They will twist everything you say 🌀

Conversations with a narcissist are rarely about truth. They’re about winning. Words get bent, intentions distorted, and suddenly you’re defending things you never even said. The exhaustion of constant self-defense leaves you silent, and silence is what they want.

The Narcissistic Leader Ego Drives Power and Leadership - New!

The Power of "No": Why Rejection Is a Sign You’re Headed in the Right Direction

The Power of Doing Nothing

The Powerful Truth About Being Human: What Drives Us, Divides Us, and Heals Us

The Psychology of "Us vs. Them"

6. They will lie, often needlessly 🤥

Lies aren’t just cover-ups for big betrayals. Narcissists lie about the trivial, the meaningless, the easily checked. Why? Because deception itself is a form of control. It keeps you uncertain, doubting, and dependent.

7. They will make you feel lonelier than ever before 🌑

There’s a unique loneliness in being unseen by someone who’s right beside you. With a narcissist, intimacy is an illusion: you share space, but not safety. The result is a deep isolation, even in the closest proximity.

8. They will erode your sense of worth 💔

Love becomes a transaction, affection a tool. Over time, you find yourself working harder for smaller crumbs of validation. The cruel irony: the more unworthy they make you feel, the more power they hold.

9. They will drain you emotionally 🩸

It’s not one dramatic blow—it’s a thousand little cuts. The criticism, the shifting moods, the endless need for attention. Slowly, your emotional reserves dry up, leaving you depleted in ways you never thought possible.

10. They will break your trust in people 🔓

After enough manipulation, betrayal, and gaslighting, the damage doesn’t stay confined to them. You start doubting everyone. The mistrust spills outward, which is part of their legacy: they don’t just break trust with you, they break your trust in trust.

11. They will make you feel hopeless about yourself 🪞

It’s not always the dramatic insults. Often it’s the constant drip of doubt: the eye rolls, the subtle digs, the comparisons. Slowly, you shrink to fit their narrative of you—until one day you hardly recognize yourself.

12. They will leave you anxious, exhausted, and ashamed 🥀

Living in their orbit keeps your nervous system on high alert. You anticipate the next explosion, the next withdrawal, the next disappointment. When quiet moments finally come, shame rushes in to fill the silence. It’s a cycle that wears body and mind thin.

13. They will devalue, betray, and reject everything you gave them 🗑️

No matter how much love, effort, or loyalty you pour in, the ending is almost always the same: dismissal. What was once adored is mocked. What was once cherished is discarded. The devaluation isn’t about you, it’s about their inability to honor anyone but themselves.

The hardest truth is also the most freeing: you cannot change a narcissist. What you can change is the story you tell yourself about what you deserve. Their patterns are predictable. Your future doesn’t have to be.

💡 Enjoyed this article?

If you found value in these insights, consider joining Human Psychology Premium. Your support helps me continue writing deeply researched, human-centered articles on the psychology of everyday life.

As a Premium member, you’ll get: